An Existential Decision-Making Process

Photo by Matthew Smith on Unsplash

Often times in life, you will have to make a decision between two things. In fact, you do this every day while operating out of your subconscious and probably don’t even realize it. I won’t be talking about these kinds of decisions — but instead, I’ll be discussing the times in life where you have to make a big decision. Where you really feel that if you choose one thing, you may really miss out on the other. You know what I’m talking about — the type of decision where ‘if you make the wrong choice, you may throw everything in life off’ and you’re stuck in a loop of inaction. If you’ve never experienced this before, I truly envy you. I’ve experienced this quite recently and would like to share my thoughts on how easy it truly is to make a decision in life — even when it feels like you just don’t know what to do.

The decision I was stuck on had to do with how I am going to carry out my mission of building apiaries and providing resources for bee repopulation and stabilization. It was a choice of whether or not I should continue building software or take the plunge into game development. It was quite the existential crisis for me. After much thought, research, meditation, talking with others, and breaking it down to the first principles — I was finally able to make and stick to a decision.

Do What Interests You

When it becomes time to make a decision, going against what is natural to you will never help you during the process. Through trial and error, I’ve learned that your instincts know what you’re interested in and what will make you happy. Though this is true, people are raised with the mindset that you have to do certain things in order to be happy or successful. Most people are told that they must do well in high school, go to college, and figure their career out by the time they are 22. What people fail to realize is that every human being is wired differently and has different things that make them happy. Plus, these are ridiculous expectations for a being that hasn’t even reached a quarter of its life (if you’re basing a human lifespan on 100 years).

Growing up, I was really interested in playing video games and was never happier than when I had a controller in my hand. Of course, this wasn’t seen as a good way to spend my time and I was constantly told that I needed to do other things. Who would have thought humans would start leagues for professional gaming?

This feeds into the decision-making process because if you go with what you’re interested in, then you’re naturally doing what you’re meant to do. You are biologically different than other people, and what works for them will most likely not work for you. Instead of focusing on things that you’re not good at, lean into the things that come naturally. This doesn’t mean that you should never do the things you’re not good at if you’re interested in learning more about them. But focusing on the things that are instinctive is a great place to start if you’re having an issue making a decision.

If you just don’t know what you’re interested in — then go try different things until you land on something that makes you extremely and deeply satisfied. It’s really that simple.

If You Fail, Take What You Learned and Move On

One of the reasons for my inaction was that I was being driven by fear. Put simply, I was afraid to fail. But the thing is, life is long. You can do many things in your lifetime, and you shouldn’t limit yourself to only doing one thing forever. Plus, as long as you don’t give up, there really is no such thing as failure. When you ‘fail’ you are just going through the process of learning what doesn’t work. If you take that knowledge and move on to the next thing, then you’ve initiated the process of growth and as long as you continue to move forward, you are evolving as an individual.

Knowledge goes with you everywhere, so don’t neglect the times when you fail. If you make a decision and end up failing during that experience, you cannot let it ruin your life — you must keep moving forward. This is how you survive as a human. Otherwise, life will eat you up. This kind of mindset is very valuable as most people stay at rest because they are afraid of doing something new. The truth is that you are an infinite being, and you can do anything you want in life.

If you want to do something, but you are afraid to move forward — chances are you should just do that thing. You don’t get better by staying in your comfort zone — you get better by taking on new challenges and pushing yourself to perform as if your back was up against a wall. Don’t be afraid to fail, and don’t be discouraged when you do. By failing fast, you speed up the process in which you are able to see what does and does not work — resulting in you being able to move forward quickly.

You Have to Believe

This is pretty cliché, but as long as you believe you will get there — you will get there. Sometimes, it’s not a matter of how you’ll get there, but when. This doesn’t mean that you should just expect shit to happen in life without critical thinking, planning, and doing. That’s just wishful thinking, and you’ll end up nowhere. I strongly believe in the power of manifestation — but not in some spiritual voodoo, heebee jeebee way. It’s a logical thought process that results in understanding that you can’t just think something into existence. I believe this means that as long as you are putting in the work, you can literally achieve anything.

The universe is a binary mechanism. In the same way that ‘2 + 2’ will always equal ‘4’, the universe will always output the result of the input that you apply to it. Hard work, planning, and believing in ‘good’ will always result in the outcome you’re looking for. When you make a decision, you have to stick to that decision and believe that the work you’re putting in is going to be worth it.

Thank you for stopping by the Rusty Nail Games Game Designer’s Blog. I always look forward to sharing my game development and life experience with you all, and it means a lot that you spend your time here. You can follow my blog here on Medium, or stop by

If you have the resources, please remember to help improve the life of bees in your area by planting pollinator flowers! If you have no idea where to start in this process, you can check out these pollinator-friendly planting guides and find plants that grow based on your location.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store